Key Words

My children talk. ALOT. From a young age, they have had to learn how to take turns so they can be heard. And I listen. ALOT. But from a young age, I learned I can listen with one ear and get the general idea. Yes, little Susie was mean at school today. No, you didn't like the sub Mrs. Canoli at all. I can nod, agree and cook, drive, clean ect...
But...some days you really need to pay attention.
Halloween is one of our favorite holidays. Our subdivision has the entire school Trick or Treat through. We pass out candy and water to the children and Margaritas to the adults. There is a fashion show of the ghoulish, ghostly and grand that pass thru the streets. My children plan their costumes sometimes for months.
Navy Seal planned his in a week. While I was Driving.
I want to be a Vampire...White sparkly skin...Emo...Twighlight films...
No problem. He has black clothes, I grab a red and black cape, some vampire blood and the child is good to go.
It is now time to dress up.
Mom, what is this stuff? Your vampire costume. I wanted to be a Vampire HUNTER. I hate Twilight and the whole EMO Sparkling Bunch.
OOOPPSS! Key Word was missing.
That's OK Mom. Do we have a box?
He was a box and won the Halloween Costume Contest at a Halloween Party. No key words needed.

Standards

I believe my standards are going down hill.
Last week my interviews were along the lines of How long have you been driving? Do you have references? What Religion are you?
This week it's been
Do you speak English and not Smell.

Logos For Life

Big Daddy and I were chatting this morning about what to do with a Stack of golf shirts he will never wear. Some are the wrong size, some are the wrong color (for him), and some are just plain Ugly. Being this is the Second time this week, this topic has come up, (the first time was among wives at a coffee) I think it's time I do something. There are people not just in Malaysia but in all of Asia, that would be very thankful for not only a shirt, but a new shirt. I have to do some research and find out the best way to get this moving but please start your Stack. I think we can clothe the needy put those Logos to use!

Running for Beginners

My GF Lolita (remember names changed to protect the innocent) thinks I should take up running. I always want to lose weight. Not seriously enough to actually lose any but seriously enough to stay healthy. Most weeks I walk three times, then I skip a month, then I walk again. Lolita thinks if I start running, I'll love it so much, I'll stick to it.
I decided today to start running and here is what I learned:
Do not run with a water bottle in your hand. It's distracting.
Take off your wedding ring. Fingers swell when running.
Skip the sunnies. Once sweating, they are distracting.
Hair in a pony tail. Yes, I should have known that one.
And last But Not Least, where a double extra duty sports bra. Those girls will give you whip lash.
I can't say I had fun, I can't say it lasted long, but I can say I feel pretty darn good.
Thanks Lolita!

30 Minute Meals

One of the benefits of living in Malaysia is cheap, good food. We can feed a family of six for less than 20US at many many hawker stalls. BUT I actually like to cook. It took me a while to discover this hidden talent. Dale and I had been married for 10 years and moved to Australia. I was used to delivery in Katy that was cheap as chips and twice as fast. I moved to Auz and realized we would quickly go broke if I didn't cook most nights. I got fairly good, but still wasn't thrilled. We moved to KL and I discovered the secret. I LOVE to cook, I HATE to clean up! I happen to have a kitchen fairy (read Jenny) and suddenly I am Rachael Ray in the kitchen. I happen to love her 30 minute meal concept. My ONLY complaint is I can never finish in 30 minutes. I think if everything was already minced, chopped and peeled it would fit the time frame. BUT I also think that's cheating. All that aside, she is my very favorite and go to chef. So tonight when I was looking for dinner ideas I turned to her. Found a fab Sloppy Joe recipe, only much more detailed that included adding Guacamole to it. Being a mom of four I turned it to a true 30 minute meal (actually more like 15). Ground beef, Sloppy Joe sauce from a can, add Guac (from actual avocados) and POW, the most fabulous Sloppy Joe's we have ever had. Yes, you may use this idea. I don't want credit, but pass me a good vibe. :)

Beef, Chicken or Pasta

One of the things I adore living an International Life is the variety of children my children bring home. We are always learning new cultures, traditions, habits. It's all good. But just think of this, how many times have you had a child over to visit and thought, "I sure hope MY child doesn't act like that when they are visiting." Of course, you just can't tell. I had Allison ask my girlfriend to make her a Pavlova for her Birthday. Her birthday was in two days at the time. So although I am laughing, Please know in No way am I throwing stones. I have four kids. It happens.
BUT we have a little girl over today who is An Only Child. Not always, but often, only children have been indulged more than I have time to indulge. So here is the conversation.

Panda Bear: We want to go shopping.
Little Girl: Yes, I brought my money.
Me: No.
Panda Bear: We want liquorice.
Me: No, I can't go to the store, I have too many kids here and I can't leave.
Little Girl: Then how will we get to the store?
Me: You can't go.
Little Girl: I don't understand. How will we get the liquorice?
Me: You won't
L.G.: I don't understand. Are you saying No?
Me: Yes, I am saying No.
L.G.: I don't understand.
Me: Panda Bear, tell her what No means.

Fast forward: Middle child has a friend over and I can't remember if she's the one who can't eat meat. We have a variety of friends with religious food differences as well as allergies. I always do my best to accommodate. So we can't have beef (I think), the chicken is frozen, so Pasta it is. Little Girl says she'll eat when she gets home because her mom will fix her what she wants. Well Sweetie, what do you want? Liquorice!

Have a great Day!

How to Fire Staff

As y'all know, I started driving myself. Apparently, after a mountain, a Stupid GPS and me cursing in front of the children (that isn't the shocker, it's that it was directed at Big Daddy), I was ordered to hire a new driver. Very Nice Old Man. Unfortunately He Cannot Actually Drive. We had references. They said, he's not a smart man (but neither was Forest Gump and look how that turned out), but he is Honest. After the thieving lying dude, I was willing to make some compromises. So he hit curbs and pot holes. Technically, so do I. So he doesn't know where anything actually is. Neither do I. So, it takes him six tries to park. I take two most times. He can't pick the short lane. But everyone knows whichever lane you pick, the other one goes faster. So for honesty in a person, I've been trying. Then yesterday, he almost hit a pedestrian. Then he hit a hole so big the car needs to go to the shop. Then he stopped in the middle of the freeway because he was frightened and almost got Us hit. Then he almost hit my child. Do I tell him, you are fired because you can't drive or do I soften the blow? Welcome to Malaysia. Drivers, you can't live with them, and you can't stand them either.